Some of the lesser reported Wikileaks revelations…

 

  • During the George W Bush’s 2004 state visit an unnamed civil servant was employed to carry a stereo and follow the then president to ensure the then he could deploy Bruce Springsteen’s classic ‘Born in the USA’ at 45 seconds notice.
  • China covertly announced it would support the unification of North and South America, under the transitional presidency of Hugo Chavez in America’s new capital Caracas.
  • During an arms fair in Turkey the Duke of York was noted as saying something of both interest and intelligence; first time since 1984 when, at his brothers wedding, he accidently let slip that he gave the marriage 6 years and then Charles would be ‘back boffing horse face Parker Bowels’.
  • In 2001 Donald Rumsfeld almost deployed Luci Lawless in Afghanistan after accidently believing that ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ was a documentary.
  • Prince Harry sings ‘God Save Grandma’ during recitals of the national anthem.
  • Educational experts were drafted in to teach George W Bush to count beyond 10 to enable the President to deal with the 9/11 tragedy.
  • To earn money as a student the French President Nicolas Sarkozy was once employed by the rock band Queen be 1 of the 7 dwarfs carrying trays of cocaine on their heads during the bands infamous 1981 New Years Eve party; unconfirmed reports state Freddie Mercury declared ‘I want it all, I want it all, I want it now’ and the Mr Sarkozy duly delivered and hasn’t been able to eat a banana ever since.
  • In 2007 an unnamed US diplomat stated the biggest tragedy of the Iraq invasion was accidently bombing Bagdads outlet of McDonalds for, despite the brutal internal civil war, everything would be ok if they could get his teeth around a Big Mac.
  • Mahmud Ahmadinejad is a massive fan of ‘Sex in the City’ and return for a 6 month hiatus in Irans nuclear programme was allowed to attend last years movie premier.
  • The USA regularly contemplates invading Canada ‘for the hell of it’.
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