“Traces of Ewok found in Beef Burgers”

Ewok DNA found in burgers across the Galactic Empire, McJabba processing plant blamed.

“Uturn over Scrapper of GCSE’s”

Driver repeatedly runs over Michael Gove in badly executed attempt to change direction.

“Commons Backs Gay Marriage Bill”

MP’s give the tumbs up to happiness within wedlock

“Lego Party Begins Election Campaign”

Brick by Brick we’ll build a better Britain claims toy manufacturer.