Eric Pickles is a Vogon in disguise.

Here is what to do if you want to get anything from Eric Pickles: forget it. He is one of the most unpleasant people in the Galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. He wouldn’t even lift a finger to save his own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. The best way to get a drink out of Eric Pickles is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. On no account should you allow Eric Pickles to read poetry at you.


Michael Gove to send Mien Kampf to all English schools

Education State schools in England are to receive a copy of Mein Kampf from the government with a brief forward by Michael Gove, the education secretary, to mark the 87th anniversary of its publication.

In a move intended to help every pupil access Britain’s cultural heritage each primary and secondary school will receive a copy next year, to coincide with the anniversary of Hitler’s 1923 Munich Beer Hall putsch.

Gove will write a brief foreword in this special edition, “It is a thing of beauty and incredible historical importance. No other book has helped shape and define Britain in the last 200 years. The consequences of Hitler’s words and the deeds they inspired still resonate today in the nations shared culture”.  

The Department for Education estimates the cost of the scheme at £375,000, and is seeking philanthropic sponsorship from someone beyond Nick Griffin who is please the BNP’s 2010 manifesto is being distributed to all schools.