David Cameron in IgglePiggles ‘Murky Patch’

Children’s TV personality IgglePiggle has claimed be had and 8 month long affair with David Cameron.

The In the Night Garden star made a candid confession to Newsround presenter Leah Gooding, claiming that he and the Prime Minister had a intense affair in 2011. IgglePiggle, real name Bernard Snooty, also revealed he was pimped to other cabinet ministers, allowing the likes of Michael Gove and George Osborne to ‘blow off steam’.

The most scandals revelation, set to send shock waves through the political establishment, were Camerons demand that IgglePiggle don a rubber Margaret Thatcher mask before sodomizing the childrens television personality, screaming ‘Dennis has a Polaris but I’ve got Trident!’ upon reaching climax.

It is also claimed that David Cameron would don leather chaps and flog IgglePiggle after Prime Ministers Questions, the childrens character requiring hospital attention on more than one occasion.

Number 10 has yet to comment on the allegations but sources close to the prime minister state the claims are ‘Utter twoddle and the ramblings of a derange lunatic!’

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