‘Cyclists Pollution’ Worse than Diesel Cars

The smug sense of superiority and air of superiority given off by cyclists has been linked to 100000 deaths per year according to a new study by the Cambridge University Newtonian Transport School (anacynim redacted).

 

The haughty conceited vapours cyclists emit is a significant pollutant causing considerable harm to the brains of white van drivers,  warping their moral compass’ resulting in unpredictable and perilous piloting of these vehicles.

 

Drivers under the influence of these clouds of self-righteous ethers have been discovered to cause an increased number of accidents, following the 2012 Olympic velodrome success the problem exponentially expanded as more people took to the road on bicycles. The study concluded that only by banning the bicycle can the roads be made safe.

 

The anacynim redacted study was funded the Jeremy Clarkson’s FCUK Caravan and Cycle Owners Foundation and has been independently verified by that cracking bunch of lads, the UK Independence Party; whose policy for the reintroduction of hunting with hounds to control deer, foxes and cyclists in no way swayed their judgement.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s