Following recent trends the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have allowed the public to choose the name of their third child, with suggestions submitted and voted for in an internet poll.

Despite a strong showing for names such as Elizabeth, Matilda and Victoria the British publish have overwhelmingly voted for Boaty McBoatface. Bowing to ‘the will of the people’ William and Kate have named their third child Prince Boaty Charles Xavier Edmund McBoatface.

Other waggish suggestions that received strong included Prince Symbol (Artist formally known as Prince), Prince PrivedgedScum and Prince FreddieStarAteMyPeerage.

The Queen is delighted with her great-grandsons birth and 10 Downing Street has announced that the second Astute Class aircraft carrier will be named ‘HMS Prince Boaty’ in his honour. Also, following revelations that no member house of Sax Coburg Goethe ever having applied for permanent residency or UK citizenship, Prince William and his family have been arrested and held in the Portdown Detention centre awaiting deportation to Germany.  

 When asked about the deportation of Prince William and his family Home Secretary Amber Rudd just screamed ‘f**king hostile immigration policy my arse’ and ran off with her head buried in her hands.