Eurovision Offers Asylum to Julian Assange

The camp europop nation of Eurovision is set to grant Wikileaks founder Julian Assange political asylum. Assange has been holed up in the pink velour Eurovision embassy since 19th June, following the British courts decision he could be extradited to Sweden.

Eurovision’s president, Barak O’bangYeMama, told state TV he’d been studying the international law regarding asylum, ignored it all and utilized the lyrics of Bucks Fizz’s 1981 Eurovision winning song.

“Everybody’s gonna talk about, before you decide, but the time’s all right, for making your mind up.. Asange will have asylum!”

President O’bangYeMama then whipped off the foreign ministers skirt, reveling Ivor Bigens stocking legs and frilly bloomers to over excited clapping from the audience. Suggestions that the Foreign Minister lives up to his name have now been squashed.

British and Swedish governments both have discouraged the granting of asylum but the Eurovisions embassy told officials from both nations, ‘Whatever, speak to the hand ’cause the face ain’t listening!’ They were informed that Eurovisions diplomatic pink Hummer will drive the Wikileaks founder to Stansted airport where ‘he’ll be flown to Eurovision… maybe stopping off at Grand Canaria to take in a little sun, sea, sand and…well something salacious’

It is expected that in Eurovision Assange may face trial for sexual misconduct relating to the allegations made in Sweden, if found guilty he faces being spanked and 12 years in prison.


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