Chesterfield University Hospitals Daily 20.02.15

Sperm Donors Wanted

As many have suggested the management offices are filled with massive wankers but it seems like output is being outstripped by demand.

Please can donors come in the Discharge Lounge where their donations will be gratefully accepted. In return donors will receive a 5% discount on any future fertility support or treatment services provided by Chesterfield University Hospitals along with 10% discount at our Discharge Lounge sponsors, Anne Summers, who’ve provided stimulating ‘reading’material.

Fire Service Strike 25^th February

Due to a lust for filthy lucre the Fire Service will be striking on 25^th February for 24 hours. To cope with the potential risk Chesterfield University Hospitals has formed its own auxiliary fire brigade and in an act of community service is offering fire ‘protection’during the strike to local residents.

Those who are not able to pay the very reasonable rates for peace of mind during the strike may experience a blaze of unfortunate events.