Father Christmas Arrested for Drink Driving

Mythological creature, commonly known as Father Christmas, was arrested on Christmas Day for being drunk in charge of animal powered vehicle.

His reindeer powered sleigh was stopped by the Police after swerving wildly on the A1(M) close to Peterborough, and after being breathalysed it was discovered that he’d consumed approximately 900000 glasses of assorted spirits and fortified wines along cannabis after with dropping a ‘J’ at the residence of Jeffrey Lebowski.

Due the severity of his offence, being at the top of the drink driving scale, Father Christmas was remanded, pending trial, in Azkaban. Police are also investigating a spate of breaking and entering cases where Father Christmas’ fingerprints being found at the scene of each offence.

If convicted of drink driving Father Christmas is expected to be sentenced to 5 years in prison followed by a 2 year driving ban. During this period it is expected that present manufacturing and delivery will be contracted out to G4S who have promised to distribute some form of gift to everyone by August, irrelevant if they have been naughty or nice: mostly as otherwise that would exclude its management team from being in receipt of a gift.

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