One great omission from Genesis was Adams first words to Eve… do you think the Bible might be viewed differently if it contained ‘Lo and the Lord did take out one of Adams ribs and from it he fashioned a woman, Eve. There standing before each other man and woman did stare until Adam spoke, ‘Get yer fig leaf lass, you’ve pulled’.

 9 months later Eve gave birth to Cain and was eternally bitter, not only was she forced into an arrowhead marriage (bit like a shotgun marriage but slightly more primitive) it turned out Adam was a liar as you could get pregnant if you did it standing up.

 What Adam thought no one knows, he was watching Sky Sports presented by two Neanderthals called Andy Gray and Richard Keys.