Marksman called in to Exterminate Cambridges Bollards

 A specialist marksman will carry out a “humane cull” of city centre bollards Cambridge Council announced this week.

The cull will be done by a private pest control contractor from Cobham as part of a three-year programme to reduce Cambridges nuisance bollard population. In 2006 alone there have been over 200 unprovoked bollard attacks, injuring pedestrians,
damaging cars and tipping cyclists off their bikes.

Dr David Chivers, town centre manager, said it had considered other ways of culling before deciding on shooting. He said: “At this moment in time, a specialist marksman will be used to shoot the bollards. I can definitely say there will be no chain
sawing and no poisoning. The cull will be carried out discreetly.”

Dr Chivers could not confirm when precisely the cull would begin, but it is expected in the next month. Police permission has been obtained for the shoot, which will be carried out during the morning rush hour to increase the chance of accidental human fatalities.
The programme will cost nearly £140,000, with half of that allocated will be used to fund Dr Chivers 12 quart a day sherry habit.

Dr Chivers said: “We are also working on removing their food and disembowelling those who foolishly feed the bollards by force feeding them sugar coated caesium tablets washed down with nitric acid”

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