Dr Chivers outlandish claims of suffering from a ‘massive blister’ were confirmed by astronauts last night.
Friends assumed assertions that his feet had ‘swelled to the size of a house’ and he had blisters ‘bigger than the millennium dome’ were just the product of a deranged fool when they can be seen with the naked eye from the International Space Station.
Paul Shirley, Michael Wieloch and Clare Murdoch issued a full and frank apology for any insult or injury sustained against his good character while in future assuring Dr Chivers that they would believe the sometimes wild and far fetched ramblings of the aged pig obsessed sherry addict.
They added that Dr Chivers recent behavior, where he claimed to have a remote control logged in his aorta, had a brain swap with Skippy the Bush Kangaroo and wrote ‘MacBeth’ while time travelling with Babe the Sheep Pig added to their sense of disbelief and thus were unwilling to accept that feet and blisters could swell to such massive proportions after a 400m excursion to buy more Sherry.
Dr Chivers was unavailable for comment but issued this statement through his solicitors ‘I am fine, I am okay, I am wearing my wife’s knickers. Please can M&S send more pants, the washing machine has broken down and I need clean underwear!’
A further claim that his breath can kill penguins is currently under investigation with the aid of London Zoo.