I was a Middle Aged Pussycat Doll

 Peter Mandleson has revealed that during his time as European Commissioner for Trade he moonlighted under the stage name of ‘Melody Thornton’, receiving a Grammy Award nomination as a member of the girl band ‘The Pussycat Dolls’.

 In his autobiography ‘The Third Man’ the former Secretary of State decided to resign his position within the Pussycat Dolls after Gordon Browns 2008 reshuffle, for the third time returning to cabinet in a role widely accepted to be Deputy Prime Minister. Previously Lord Mandleson could be seen explicitly dancing onstage while promoting the bands first album PCD and was voted the worlds 26th sexiest woman. When asked did he mind being adored by men all over the planet he answered ‘My dear quiet the opposite, I adored it’.

 Before resigning from the band Lord Mandleson considered continuing his secret life but decided that no peer or MP should be seen ‘gyrating ones pelvis in a basque before rushing off toWestminsterand voting the renewal of our wonderfully phallic nuclear deterrent; well not unless you’re Stephen Milligan. I’ve retired and hung up my fishnet stockings, Im glad to be grey’.  

 On Sunday MTV will be showing a Politicians Special including Nick Clegg and David Camerons infamous duet, performing the Jilted John classic ‘Gordon is a Moron’ at last years Commons Christmas Karaoke.


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