Win For Germany!

Following a review of historical urine samples Germany has been awarded victory in WWII, with the Allied team lead by Russia, USA and United Kingdom being disqualified for doping violations.

It is believed that the current Russian doping scandal stretches beyond sport, with soldiers and bomb dogs being ‘as juicy as hell’ throughout the second world war.

Germany will be formally awarded victory in WWII on Christmas day, with the Allied team to begin making war reparations on 1st January, with interest on the $300bn backdated to 1945.

Along with Germany the other Axis powers, Italy and Japan, will be awarded permanent seats upon the UN Security Council replacing Russia, China and United Kingdom. France will become the 5th Republic and handed over to Marie Le Penn, the heir to the Vici Regime while the United States will remain under the Trump who it is believed would be viewed as a ‘tad mental’ even by the Third Reich. There will be continuity within the UK, but with Princess Beatrice and Eugenie being declared co regents until Boris Johnson grows up. When asked about her meddling with British dynastic politics Angela Merkel shrugged and replied ‘why not’.

From 25th December all history books will be judged void and will be reprinted with the German interpretation of events. The Deutschmark will replace the Euro, Rouble and Pound, becoming the only legal currency within Europe. Brexit will become Brenter, with the British Parliament and Supreme Court moved to Belgium to enable the country to be truly governed by Brussels.

The Queen is thought to be pleased that the nation of her families heritage won the Second World War and will return to be known as Elizabeth Sax Kohlberg Goethe.

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