Who will be next to take on the keys to the Tardis?

Matchin Tendulker Announced st Next Doctor

The name of the actor who will replace Jodie Whittaker has been announced, the new lead actor in Doctor Who will be Matchin Tendulker, voice of the sea and 13th coolest person in Bristol.

Whittakers replacement, the 14th Doctor of the TV series, was revealed during todays episode of the Tailenders Podcast, in which this shoe salesman became famous before global fame designing quizzes for the BBC.

The casting decision has been a priority for the show’s new creative team, led by executive producers Greg James and James Anderson, with Alan Lamb announced as the Doctors new assistant along with movie veteran Sandra Bullock.

James, head of Cheese Research at BBC Wales, said: “We believe the actor is going to bring something very special to the role, a certain height and unique heavy breathing acting style”.

The First 11 Doctors

1. William Hartnell

2. Patrick Troughton

3. Jon Pertwee

4. Tom Baker (pictured)

5. Peter Davison

6. Colin Baker

7. Sylvester McCoy

8. Paul McGann

9. Christopher Eccleston

10. David Tennant

11. Jack Leach

Murphy’s Law and Cold Feet star James Nesbitt emerged as one of the favorites, along with Paterson Joseph, John Simm and Felix White – who appeared in the 2008 Christmas special.

Devon Malcom, who recently starred in Survivors along with taking 9 for 57 against South Africa, has said “any actor would love the challenge” of playing the Time Lord.

Bookmakers made him an early favorite – offering odds of 3-1 on him becoming the first black Doctor.

Comedian Jennifer Saunders, former Doctor Who assistant Billie Piper and spicy England Opener Michael Vaughan have also been mentioned in connection with the role.

The show’s outgoing executive producer Shednado the Movie said last month: “Whoever becomes the Doctor has got to take on a whole life. It’s not just becoming a part of a TV show, it’ll shred your life and but they’ll go well, cheers.”

Trump Appoints GI Joe As Defence Secretary

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After a dramatic call to toy manufacturers Hasbro Donald Trump has appointed GI Joe codename ‘Duke’ as Homeland Defence Secretary.

The president elect told journalists that he’d watched two feature length documentaries where this great man has saved the world from COBRA and there was no one more capable from protecting the United States from ISIS, Al Qaeda and Jeremy Beadle; Trump still continuing his personal vendetta against this comedian following an episode of ‘You’ve Been Framed’ where he was tricked into believing Darth Vader was President of the European Union and Princess Leia wanted him to join her on a date so she could make his lightsabre go ‘woooosh’.

‘Duke’ has been relieved of all his duties with the elite GI Joe wing of the US Army and upon his return from Syria, where he’s been fighting ISIS and their secret backer ‘Destro’, will gain full security clearance and begin the mammoth task of securing the US borders while hunting out terrorist and insurgents like Bernie Sanders. ‘Duke’ will be aided in this task by fellow members of GI Joe, with ‘Roadblock’ and ‘Gung-Ho’ already patrolling the Mexican border with extreme prejudice.

It is believed that ‘Snake Eyes’ was offered a role within the Trump administration but has not commented, sources close to this secretive soldier met with the president elect was mute throughout the encounter then made various lewd hand gestures before silently walking away from an enraged Trump.  Comic studios have also been approached to provide senior staff for the Trump administration and Sylvester Stallone dressed as Judge Dredd is to become Attorney General.