Breaking News: Minifigs ‘Take Control’ in Wales

David Cameron stood outside 10 Downing Street and regretfully told journalists ‘Wales is under Minifig control’.

Following a meeting with military chiefs and the Cobra emergency committee he made this announcement. It had already become clear that Lego people had effectively taken control of the principality with minifigs parading through Cardiff waving Danish flags and taking over the Doctor Who studios, renaming them the‘Timemy Wimey Parliament of Plastic People’.

To the north local law enforcement officials attempt to prevent Lego knights from occupying Conway Castle, losing this struggle and their dignity in the process. Commandeering supplies from the cities toy stores the minifigs reinforced their position with building block bastions

Dwarf minifigs from ‘The Hobbit’ range tweeted that they’d taken residency in Snowdonia, remaining Snowdon ‘Moria’, “If you want it back @QueenElizabethII come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough”. Later images of downed military drones were posted to the site, “Battle drone/Balrogs…all the same, we’ll have yer!! #Easy”the dwarfs declared.

Attempts by Mega Blocks to support the English in their attempts to quash the Minifig rebellion have been punitively put down, with all taint of Legos arch rival being purged with fire; pyres of Mega Block bricks temporary being used instead of coal within the principalities power stations.

The only human treated with anything but distain being Brian Blessed, the legendary actor seen as a living deity, with huge Lego brick statues constructed of him constructed in city centres across Wales and S4C showing nothing but repeats of ‘Flash Gordon’ and ‘Blake 7’.

The UN has attempted to broker peace talks between Minifigs and David Cameron but the Lego men’s response was to build spare rooms onto all houses and declare “Bedroom tax that yer toffee nosed illegitimate son of a greasy worm!”

Labour have yet to respond to the crisis, it is suspected they’re busy sniggering.


Legomen Attack Toys’R’Us, Hundreds of Minifigs escape.

Hundreds of minifigs have been freed after militant Legomen launched a spectacular assault upon the Cambridge Toys’R’Us.

At around 11pm Monday the doors were blown open with plastic explosives and a Duplo brick bombardment subdued security guards. Around 20 Legomen stormed the store and ripped open Lego kits; constructing the disassembled minifigs within.

This included numerous orcs and trolls from ‘Lord of the Rings’ range who rampaged their way though the toy store and set about destroying rival Megablock’s kits, daubing ‘This what happens to scabs’ upon the packaging torn asunder.

Building their own getaway vehicle the Legomen were last seen heading towards Windsor where sympathizers are believed located.

Other toys were released, military support  being required to deal with running battles between Dr Who action figures and a tribe of feral Bratz who escaped in 2007 and have avoided capture ever since. No casualties have been reported but one member of the SAS suffered a severe loss of dignity after jumping behind a sofa upon hearing ‘Exterminate’ and hiding from a patrol 12cm Daleks.