Former FIFA boss Sepp Blatter has become the new president of Greece in a shock announcement.
The disgraced head of footballs governing body has pledged to donate ‘A large pile of used $100 bills’ his maid found in a brown paper bags behind the sofa. This is not a complicated money laundering operation Blatter confirmed and has nothing to do with the FBI investigating his affairs but being a head of state provides some degree of diplomatic immunity which he described as being ‘useful’.
In addition Blatter pledged to tackle the rampant corruption and fraud rampant in the Greek economy, “I am an expert in these fields, I understand the mindset of those who wish to cheat the system for personal gain” he told a press conference from his lavish presidential palace. After providing journalists with a Champaign reception the new president showed details of his economic recovery plan, which mostly involved renaming the Acropolis the ‘Nike Zone’, a temple devoted to the Goddess of Victory and High Performance Sports Wear.