‘I was wrong’ states Education Secretary, ‘teachers are doing a quite splendid job’.

Michael Gove, Secretary of State for Education, has issued an unreserved apology to all history teachers following the shock discovery that the sources of all his historical knowledge contained erroneous and often incorrect facts.

‘I lambasted teachers for a woefully poor delivery of the history curriculum, until yesterday I thought children left school with little or no knowledge of this nations rich tapestry or world events’ Gove told the Education Select Committee, later revealing that all his historical knowledge were gleamed from the books ‘1066 and all that’ and ‘The Onion Presents: Our Dumb Century’; which he mistook for academic histories.

‘I was wrong; an 8 year old child who knows Henry VIII had 6 wives knows more than I do. Until yesterday I thought WWII started when Hitler neutralised the Polish menace, with Europe relieved that Germany lifted the grim spectre of Polish tyranny from the continent. Only when Germany invaded Britain, Belgium, Holland and France (who surrendered after a valiant 10 minute struggle) did things get unpleasant’.

Hanging his head in shame the MP  placed himself in special measures, with the National Union of Teachers the proposed sponsors of the relaunched ‘’Militant Marxist Department for Education, Skills and Training for the Overthrow of Capitalism’. General Secretary, Christine Blower, told journalists that like all sponsors of free schools and academies the NUT will have no influence upon