He’d Never Be Voted Off Strictly Govern UK says Johnson!
Strictly Star Ed Balls would salsa into government if Boris Johnson became Prime Minister sources close to the Foreign Secretary told journalists yesterday.
The unnamed source said that the former Labour front bencher and TV dancing sensation would be offered a peerage, with Lord Balls of the Blackpool Empress Ballroom becoming the government spokesperson for the Trade and Development.
An economist by training, having lectured at both Harvard and Oxford, Balls will be tasked with injecting some cha cha cha into the British economy with a fiscal jive, making Britain great again and putting a spring back into our quick step.
“It won’t be a balls up when Ed’s finished, even Craig Revel Horwood will award his puffed out Paso Doble of prosperity 10 points!” this source is claimed to have said.